Growing up....

This sunday was promotion sunday at our church.  My daughter was especially excited about this because it marked her first sunday as a youth!  This had several meanings for her; she got to start going to the youth building for sunday school and she no longer was expected to sit near a parent, either us or another one during church but she was expected to sit with the youth group.  She has been planning this moment all summer!

Promotion sunday is not such a big deal in the adult departments.  We really don't move, the class just reclassifies itself as an older one and we keep going.  Occasionally, a couple will 'move' on to an older class but most of us just keep going, and going, and going to the same class.  When we first started going to this church about eleven years ago, we went to a young married class.  We were between the ages of 25-35 so we fit right in.  We are still classified as a new married class but most of us have youth and some even have college kids!  We all laugh that we are the oldest young married class in the history of Baptist churches! 

Growing up means different things to different people at different stages of life.  To my daughter, growing up means sitting apart from us at church.  To each of us though, it means more responsibilities and higher expectations.  Sitting apart from your parents means you have to take it upon yourself to not talk, pass notes and generally act like a kids.  To an adult, growing up means getting a job and making grown-up decisions about your life; where to live, who to marry, etc. 

I think back to when I was a new youth.  I was so excited to pull away from my parents and become someone different.  Now, looking back, I see that I've pretty much come full circle.  I pulled away, but like a  june bug on a string, I circled around and am now back in the same spot that I left my parents years ago.  Except this time, I am the one standing still while my own children are pulling away.  Makes me look at my own parents with new eyes.  Eyes that have new appreciation for what they have done......

Finding My Way

I've been at home full-time since November.  Six months.  Doesn't really seem like six months.  I haven't completed nearly all I thought I would.  I honestly thought that by now I'd be twiddling my thumbs with boredom. 

I've almost always worked outside the home doing something.  When I first got married, I was in college full-time then I taught school.  Even when the kids were babies I taught part-time.  I liked it and I liked the money that I made.  Truth be told, sometimes it was easier to go to work than it was to stay at home.  Sorry working moms, but I had someone clean my house and I ate out a lot.  It was fun to go to work and sit at lunch with my friends and not have to wipe anyones face!  Sure I missed my kids, but I only worked for three hours a day, usually during nap times.  It was a nice escape.  I started staying at home full time when my daughter was eighteen months old and my son was three.  I began to miss being with them as they began to skip that morning nap.  We also were planning a move back to Oklahoma to be closer to family so it was a good time to stay home.

I really struggled after the first year or so being a stay home mom.  I'm a pretty busy person and I felt like I was spinning my wheels.  I finally realized that I was doing the most important job ever, the job that in fifty years will still be paying off, and that job is mothering.  I was a teacher to my most important students ever, my own children.  We colored, playdohed, dressed up (I'm so glad the UPS man just rang the bell and didn't expect me to answer it with all those colored clips in my hair!), sang, collected bugs (and still do) and everything else a mom normally does with preschoolers.  We made volcanoes, mento cokes, finger paints, bath salts and more to learn about the world around us. We made countless dinners for friends at church and neighbors who were going through a rough patch or had a new baby to care for. We volunteered at church to help others in our community.

 I realize that all my hard work turned my two kids into smart, caring, inquisitive young people who, I hope, learned what being a mom and dad means from my husband and I.  No other job pays less but no other job has such lasting repercussions as being a parent.  The big problem is that by the time you think you've figured out how to do it, you job of training is past. 

I still have many years to go in this job.  I'm not perfect and if you asked my kids to give me a job performance rating some days it would not be so great.  I guess you can't be perfect at a job that lasts twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week for fifty years or so! Some days you're just going to be off a bit.  Oh well, I'll just keep reminding myself of that as I get through another day of teen parenting!