Monday, January 3, 2011

Looking back....

About a year ago, I started this blog for something creative to do and get some much requested recipes to friends.  I was a stay-home, home-schooling mom and felt I needed desperately to put feelings to words on a page or go insane!  I'm still a home-schooling mom, who now works part-time from home as a virtual school teacher.  I've not been as  diligent at posting since I started working, in part because it seems once I spend four hours a day on the computer, I just don't have the need to stare at the screen anymore!  I want to be face-to-face with a person, or Kate the big, black dog!

I've learned a little about myself this past year.  I like to work from home.  I'm planning to do this gig as long as they let me!  I can be a workaholic if I'm not watched closely.  Because of this type A personality I have, I have never moved into the type of career that could easily invade my family life.  Working from home very well could so I just set a timer in the kitchen and walk away after a certain time.  I like simply being a wife and mother too!  I learned this year that if I don't have an 'outside' job, I still have a very important job.  I care for my family, I schedule my families time, I do maintenance for the family, I clean for the family and I am great at all those things!  I had fallen into the trap of believing that if I didn't 'do' something, I was unimportant to everyone.  What I found out this past year is that I am invaluable to three people in this world, my husband and my kids.  Everyone else can replace me, they could never replace me! 

When I came to this conclusion after several months of soul-searching, I gained a peace that I hadn't had in a very long time.  I no longer looked at housework as drudgery.  I no longer hated laundry day. I looked at serving my family as my ministry and my attitude and those around me were blessed!

It seemed once I came to that conclusion, I got offered this part-time job.  It was as if God wanted me to understand that what I do isn't as important as who I serve.  I realized that my family needs to always come first, even if that means no vacation for the year.  At the end of my life, I will not embrace my job accolades, I will embrace my family. 

I was told this summer at one of the numerous camps that I sponsored that I was an encourager.  This person pointed it out as I encouraged young people to try new things or follow their dreams.  I had never thought of myself as an encourager before!  It opened my eyes a bit about myself.  I have always been a teacher, even when I didn't plan to be.  Teaching just always seems to draw me back.  Good teachers are encouragers.  Good teachers get you to stretch yourself to try things you didn't ever think you could try.  Great teachers show kids that you can get knocked down, get the breath knocked out of you and still stand back up and try something new!  Great teachers show kids that it's ok to fail if you gave it your best. 

I don't think I'm a great teacher yet.  I'm still  a work in progress but I hope that I'm becoming a great teacher to my kids.  I want them to be able to reach their goals, get knocked down and get back up again.  This past year has been an interesting journey.  I can't wait to see where this year will take me!

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