Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Saying no...

I think one of the most dreaded words in the English language is no.  It may be the most dreaded word in the world as many, many languages use some form of no.  It's a hard word to say, it's a hard word to receive.  It is a cold, someties cruel two letter word that can break a heart, break apart dreams and generally cause bad feelings wherever it goes.  It is sometimes welcomed, sometimes wished for and often the hardest word to say. 

As I get older, it seems saying no gets easier.  I have stopped trying to please others as much as I did when I was younger.  Now don't start thinking I have ever been a push-over.  Never have I been one to run with the crowd.  I overheard my mama say about me one time, 'I always know if she gets into trouble, it's her own idea.  No one can make her do anything she doesn't want to do!'  That actually kind of made me proud!  I guess I always have marched to my drummer, one everyone can't see!

When my kids were little, I didn't have much of a problem saying no to them.  'No, you can't eat candy all day long.' 'No you can't jump off the house wearing your superman cape.' 'No you can't knock down that wall so the birds can build a nest in your closet!' Yes, I actually have been asked those questions!

I never had a problem saying no to my students questions either.  But now that my kids are getting to be teenagers, it seems I have more of a problem saying no.  I feel bad when I say my daughter can't go spend the night at a friends house.  I feel bad when I've taken the son's ipod, kindle, phone, etc because he back talked.  I feel bad but I know that I must say no to them sometimes or I will raise two very ill-equipped adults.  They must learn that the world will say no to them a lot more than I ever will. 

I would honestly love to indulge my children in everything.  I love them more than my life.  And that is why I must say no.  I love them so much that I must say no to them.  To teach them that they won't be getting everything they want in life and they won't be getting it right when they want it.  I say no to keep them safe.  I say no simply because it isn't convenient for me to drop everything and do, get, drive them wherever they want right when they want it.  

Saying no to the person on the phone who wants me to do something that I really don't want to do is easy compared to saying no to my child.  But I will continue to say no and stand my ground.  I only hope one day they thank me.......maybe when they have children of their own!

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